There are a few things you should know …
February 24, 2012
A chance to drink
A precinct in Daviess County, Kentucky, has decided to forgo the normal democratic process in favor of random chance. After a vote on whether or not to allow the sale of alcohol within the precinct came up tied, officials decided to flip for it. Unfortunately for town drunks, the precinct will stay alcohol free for now. Of course after watching their basic voting rights be so casually discarded, I’m sure some of the precinct’s residents could use a drink?
Would you like fries with that?
In America, convenience is king. A Methodist church in Cincinnati, Ohio, provided drive through service on Ash Wednesday for those parishioners who weren’t religious enough to go to church, but wanted to look like they were. I wonder if any of them supersized their order.
Hop to it
Look out, sheep, there’s a new boss in town. Sweden, the nation that brought us a drunken, tree-climbing moose, has debuted another amazing animal: Champis, a sheepherding bunny. Champis achieved international notoriety recently after a video of him in action went viral. I’m hoping Champis’ can use his newfound fame will land himself a spot on “Stan Lee’s Superhumans.”
Four new chameleon species were recently discovered on the island of Madagascar. One of them, Brookesia micra, is only 2.9 centimeters long, small enough to fit comfortably on the tip of a match. Now isn’t that striking?
Corrupting our youth
The Heartland Institute, a corporate-funded lie factory based in Chicago has recently drawn heat for attempting to strong-arm its anti-reality climate change denial propaganda into grade school curriculums. What will they try next, telling people the world is flat?