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Under the Kilt

September 12, 2014

Sex toys, lingerie, and kick-ass acrobatic moves are all fine and dandy, but if you are anything like me, you lack the money and flexibility. In this situation, the sexiest thing you can do is whip out a condom. I know what you’re thinking: “What the hell is so sexy about condoms?” Well, my fellow Scot, I am about to prove to you that the correct condom can add some sprinkles to your otherwise plain vanilla options.

Trust me when I say that it’s possible to please and be pleased simultaneously. Because of general curiosity and my inappropriate amount of “free time,” I have been lead to the discovery and virtues of textured condoms. Believe it or not, there is more out there for us besides the ordinary, somewhat snooze worthy, smooth-surfaced condom. Yup, I’m talking ribbed, studded, and even tatted.

Ribbed condoms have horizontal rings along the shaft of the penis. These condoms are best for people who believe in a strong thrusting method. Studded condoms have tiny bumps along the surface of the condom to ensure her pleasure. These textures allow the penetrated party to feel more pleasure especially when their nerves are more sensitive. The majority these condoms have two sections of ribs, one at the top and another at the base allowing the texture to reach the most sensitive spots of your partner.

One of the most interesting condoms I have come across is Tantric Tattoo condoms, in which the condom is decorated with textured tattoo-like designs which is made to enhance stimulation for those who believe in a slower pace. They even come in three different tattoo designs: Titan, Maori and Tribal.

Condoms such as Trojan: Fire and Ice are coated with warming lube to rev both parties’ engines. However, it should go without saying that this condom is not for everyone! Some of us don’t associate a burning sensation in our nether regions with pleasure. But one thing these types of condoms achieve is the bulb like tip. This wide shape of the condom creates more friction and also allows the penis nerve endings to remain at their most sensitive state.

And if you’re looking for a little extra spice or humor in the bedroom, I suggest novelty condoms. Whether you’re looking to surprise your partner or you just really love Star Wars, you cannot go wrong with glow-in-the-dark condoms! After thirty seconds of exposure to light, they cast a neon green glow. These are great for people who aren’t afraid to crack a joke or two between the sheets.

For the more daring male parties out there, edible condoms do exist. While these serve no protection against pregnancy or STDs they are quite the experience. As a side note, I recommend using these with someone you trust… Safety first.

Finally, the main novelty condom: the flavored condom. They are available in flavors such as cherry, licorice, cola, banana, strawberry and even mint. These condoms are great for oral sex, making it not only safer but more enjoyable for her.

Just remember that condoms are like snowflakes. No two are alike but each of them can bring immeasurable amounts of joy.

Victoria Torres
Courier Business Manager

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