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Destination: Spring Break

February 23, 2018

Spring Break is just around the corner, and of course, and it would not be the absolute truth if I did not take to Twitter, the site of all things “real news,” to find out what the big plans are for this year’s Spring Break. According to my poll (@emily22elise, follow me on Twitter, to participate in (all) of my polls) 14% of college students will be participating in athletics, the Women’s Softball Team, along with the Men’s Baseball Team, is traveling to Florida. Senior record-holding pitcher, Elizabeth Hippen said, “We are gonna wear some bows and beat some fine ladies** down in Florida.” The Men’s Lacrosse Team will be traveling to Wisconsin, and some choice dedicated athletes of the Track and Field Team will be traveling to Birmingham, Alabama for competition. This is not an exhaustive list of all things sporty, but good luck to all of our athletes competing, you have more talent than I have ever had, sincerely, a 6th grade Track and Field extraordinaire.

28% of college students are going on vacay. Our Features Editor, Tessa Jones, is traveling to Texas to spend her senior Spring Break with her mama, a girls trip before reality sets in, real freakin’ soon. Speaking of girl time, Kelsey Burkholder, Cara Jensen and Keeley Brinkmier are bringing their charming skills somewhere on a beach and (definitely) sippin’ something strong. Their inspiration for this all gal vacay? “We are grandmas, looking for old men to buy us drinks and dinner.” A concept that has been mastered by college students all over the nation: finessing money from old people: your parents, the government, townies at the bar, anyone that has more than $2 in their bank account is fair game. Emily Gabaldon, a sophomore, will be soaring to and from Denver, Colorado over break.

Now, it would not be Spring Break, if I did not mention the go-to destination of the ‘true’ college Spring Break…the king and queen of Spring Break, South Padre Island. A mere twenty three hours away and a vacuum of all of your money, and perhaps dignity (just kidding, we are classy Scots), you too could have an experience of the lifetime. Bridget Hayes, most notably known for her unconditional support of the Men’s Basketball Team, says that South Padre will be a “big celebration for the end of an era.” Max Balagna, a junior, says his inspiration for making the trek to South Padre is “Lots of people, a beach, clubs, and lots to drink.” However some of us are game for the beach but not for rubbing up against thousands of other sweaty bodies, a group of senior ladies, Kelci, Haley, Kat, Maddy and Keeva, are also heading to the beach but they are trying to relax in sunny Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Whatever your beach destination may be, remember that alcohol increases your chance of dehydration (no freakin’ way!) and sunscreen is the key to success, according to DJ Khaled.

Some of us have no funds to go anywhere, so we are heading home to the promise land of a pantry and our dogs (or cats, I suppose). 31% of college students are going home and relaxing. Have no fear, I am sure you will have some work to do, because what’s a break without a paper? Senior, Stephanie Saey, says that her plans are “I’m going to Menard’s to buy a shovel and I’m going to dig myself out of the academic hole I’ve placed myself in from overinvolvement and senioritis.” Major feels on that one. Senior, Annie Axup says she is going “back home because I’m too broke to go anywhere.” Dang, college, what a time, you are ~truly~ living your best life, but with no money. Wherever this Spring Break takes you, I wish you the best and safe travels. Come back rejuvenated, (or broke) and finish out this semester (or college career, I’m crying in the club) stronger than ever. Roll Scots, baby.

Emily Manassah
Contributing Writer

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